Category Archives: Family


Fifty years ago today the Supreme Court said, for the first time, that my wife Amber and I, and millions of families like us, have the right to live where we choose and travel where we like. Before that, generations of interracial couples faced absurd, impossible decisions: if we went to certain states to visit a sick […]

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Blizzard food

While it’s a little frustrating to have a dream of snowdrifts hot cocoa and sledding dashed by faulty weather prediction models, I realize it’s unseemly to complain that New York City avoided a disaster that would’ve had a real human cost. I spent Tuesday working from home; the MTA employees who do things like salt […]

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Saying goodbye to Mattingly

“Life is a series of dogs,” George Carlin said once. Another way to think of it is that a dog is a bridge — somehow, by being constant, they seem to help you get from where you are when they arrive in your life to where you are at the end. I know Amber feels […]

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People light up when they see Mattingly — he’s just sort of an improbable dog. He’s half German Shepherd and half Basset Hound, and people make a very particular face when they try to picture how that happened. Matty is also perhaps the friendliest and most social dog I’ve ever met. He’s good with all […]

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I had more than a month to get nervous about officiating Colm and Marie’s wedding. It was going to be my very first, after all, and when it came to writing the ceremony I was mostly on my own. They told me to be “simple and elegant,” and that’s what I tried to write. Then, Monday night, […]

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Every Christmasy comedy seems to include a sequence where the hero/ine charges madly through an airport/through a mall to find a toy just before closing/some other madcap antics. Picture it and you’ll hear Tchaikovsky’s “Trepak” in your head. This is the closest I’ve ever come to that experience. I woke at 4:45 Wednesday so I […]

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I can’t bury the lede: Amber and I are engaged. On September 1 we dressed “for dinner” (I fooled no one) and went to Washington Square Park. After an agonizing hour’s delay (piano movers), I took Amber to the Garibaldi Statue and the piano player started into “Clair de Lune.” On our second date Amber […]

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Fear of a black child

One of the most obnoxious things you can do with a blog is hijack a tragedy by trying to make it about you. So I’ll say these were not my first thoughts as the nightmare in Ferguson, Missouri unfolded. But these are some of the thoughts that have stayed in my mind. I’m frightened because […]

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