Category Archives: Love


Fifty years ago today the Supreme Court said, for the first time, that my wife Amber and I, and millions of families like us, have the right to live where we choose and travel where we like. Before that, generations of interracial couples faced absurd, impossible decisions: if we went to certain states to visit a sick […]

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Amber loves love and romance, but Valentine’s Day is not her thing at all. In its own way I think that’s made our February 14ths together better because we’re not pressured into doing the usual Big Date Extravaganza. This time last year we were in Puerto Rico, where she was shooting a wedding, and we shared a delicious […]

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Daniel and Austin

The first round of photos from the December 30th elopements are up! The handsome couple are Daniel and Austin. Amber photographed them in the East Village and at the New York Public Library on 42nd Street, where I officiated their wedding. Amber’s work is great, as usual. The grooms were kind but reserved, and she […]

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Saying goodbye to Mattingly

“Life is a series of dogs,” George Carlin said once. Another way to think of it is that a dog is a bridge — somehow, by being constant, they seem to help you get from where you are when they arrive in your life to where you are at the end. I know Amber feels […]

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I had more than a month to get nervous about officiating Colm and Marie’s wedding. It was going to be my very first, after all, and when it came to writing the ceremony I was mostly on my own. They told me to be “simple and elegant,” and that’s what I tried to write. Then, Monday night, […]

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Every Christmasy comedy seems to include a sequence where the hero/ine charges madly through an airport/through a mall to find a toy just before closing/some other madcap antics. Picture it and you’ll hear Tchaikovsky’s “Trepak” in your head. This is the closest I’ve ever come to that experience. I woke at 4:45 Wednesday so I […]

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More catching up: two weeks ago we took a short flight upstate to visit friends in Rochester. We were excited to get out of town for a few days, and I knew I’d get to meet one of Amber’s best friends. It turned out that this quiet town had a lot to offer two citydwellers […]

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I can’t bury the lede: Amber and I are engaged. On September 1 we dressed “for dinner” (I fooled no one) and went to Washington Square Park. After an agonizing hour’s delay (piano movers), I took Amber to the Garibaldi Statue and the piano player started into “Clair de Lune.” On our second date Amber […]

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I think I learned on our first date that Amber is a wedding officiant, and she has married two couples in her (now our) back yard. That seemed very cool, and her endless enthusiasm for weddings is one of the things that drew me to her: she gets earnestly excited about things that most people […]

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Fear of a black child

One of the most obnoxious things you can do with a blog is hijack a tragedy by trying to make it about you. So I’ll say these were not my first thoughts as the nightmare in Ferguson, Missouri unfolded. But these are some of the thoughts that have stayed in my mind. I’m frightened because […]

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